The Power of Time

I don't know where my parents got the idea. Maybe it was a parenting fad back then. Maybe it was just common sense. Regardless, it is still an effective means of communicating family values. As my sister and I entered our teenage years, my parents used a nifty strategy called 'Time.' One key to effective parenting is finding each child's 'currency.' What does your child value? It could be something tangible like money or food. It could be intangible like words of encouragement or spending time with friends. Honestly, for me it could have been reading!

My sister was the social butterfly and her currency was leaving the house to hang with friends. The rule was if you had 'time' you couldn't go. 'Time' was typically divided into 15 minute increments and any infraction would add 'time.' The infractions were things like giving attitude, not keeping curfew, or poorly done chores. Whatever your family values and is decided ahead of time in a family meeting is fair game.

My sister and I learned early on that if you had time, don't even bother asking. In order to remove time you had to work it off by doing jobs around the house. Some jobs like sweeping the kitchen were worth 15 minutes. Other jobs like weeding the flower bed were 1/2 an hour or a full hour depending on how large the weeds. My mother was always thoughtful in leaving a list of needed jobs and their time value on the kitchen table. This put the control back in our hands. We were on 'house arrest' until we chose to work the time off.

Another beauty of 'time' is its simplicity. When the child breaks one of the agreed upon rules, all the parent needs to say is 'you've earned 15 minutes of time.' This was enough to make an impact. My parents never needed to raise their voice or get angry.

This was a win/win for my parents. 'Time' accomplished discipline, reinforcement of family values, and a clean house.